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Sync and corrected by
rickSG www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I'm goin' down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
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PC PRINCIPAL: All right,
everyone. Listen up.
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Today, we're gonna be
showing you some art
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from our Asian-American
students, and...
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Damn it, Leslie! Shut
your [bleep] pie hole!
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From our Asian-American students
presented by student-body president,
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00:00:44,326 --> 00:00:45,225
Wendy Testaberger.
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00:00:45,327 --> 00:00:46,326
Hey, guys.
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As you know, we have
several new students
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00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:49,629
here at South Park Elementary.
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We have been getting to
know some of the Asian girls,
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00:00:51,733 --> 00:00:54,901
who have introduced us to
an art style called "yaoi."
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Yaoi is a blend of emotion and beauty
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involving two people whose
love is looked down upon.
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The art tries to show
that all love is magical,
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00:01:02,711 --> 00:01:04,811
like in Lisa Akimoto's piece,
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00:01:04,913 --> 00:01:07,380
"Tweek and Craig: Forbidden Love."
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[Girls "Aww"]
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What?!
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00:01:10,218 --> 00:01:11,651
Kelly Zhou goes a bit more whimsical
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with "Craig and Tweek Moonlight Dance."
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[Girls "Aww"]
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00:01:15,991 --> 00:01:17,524
Dude, what the [bleep]?
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00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,311
In yaoi art, the seme, or "top,"
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00:01:20,395 --> 00:01:23,196
Is usually dominating In is usually
dominating the uke, or "bottom,"
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as demonstrated in Heather Nishimura's
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00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:28,004
"Tweek and Craig: Boizu Rabu."
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00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:29,719
"[Girls "Aww" and applause]"
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00:01:29,838 --> 00:01:32,035
But yaoi can branch out
to other things, as well...
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00:01:32,213 --> 00:01:33,201
Uh-oh.
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00:01:33,236 --> 00:01:37,796
As we see here in "Lilly,
Frog, Tweek, and Craig."
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00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:41,096
I just don't get it.
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00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:44,030
I mean, Tweek and
Craig aren't gay, right?
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00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:46,063
No. We would know.
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00:01:46,096 --> 00:01:48,863
Well, but then why would Asian
girls draw them like that?
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00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:51,030
Yeah, what is this yaoi thing all about?
46
00:01:51,063 --> 00:01:52,863
I'm so co-confused.
47
00:01:52,896 --> 00:01:54,796
And if it can happen to Tweek and Craig,
48
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,203
Could it happen to any of us?
49
00:02:00,936 --> 00:02:03,003
Uh, excuse me. Why are you doing this?
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00:02:03,036 --> 00:02:04,070
Oh, hi, Craig.
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00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:05,603
[Speaking Korean]
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00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:07,703
[Speaking Korean]
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00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,836
What? What did she say?
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I don't know. That was
Korean. I'm Japanese.
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What is going on, huh?!
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00:02:13,836 --> 00:02:14,869
Me and him aren't together!
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00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,136
Why is this happening?!
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00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,136
[Speaking Korean]
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Everyone thinks I'm gay!
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00:02:19,736 --> 00:02:20,803
What if my parents find out?! Aah!
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PC PRINCIPAL: All right, guys, I know
there's been a lot of rumors flying around.
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Just wanted to check in, see if
you have any questions for me.
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00:02:26,203 --> 00:02:28,236
Why are the Asian girls drawing
pictures of us being gay?
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00:02:28,270 --> 00:02:29,970
What's wrong with being
gay? Nothing wrong with that.
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00:02:30,003 --> 00:02:31,936
But we aren't. I'm not.
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I'm not either!
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00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,236
That is completely irrelevant, okay?
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00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:37,070
What matters, and the
reason I brought you in here,
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00:02:37,103 --> 00:02:38,903
Is that you understand
affirmative consent.
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00:02:38,936 --> 00:02:40,036
What's that?
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00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:42,536
If there is a romantic
relationship here,
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You have to make sure
your partner is comfortable
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With any sexual exploration.
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00:02:45,451 --> 00:02:46,603
Aah!
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00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:48,103
Now, in a gay relationship,
it gets a little trickier,
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00:02:48,136 --> 00:02:49,736
But you still have to follow
some guidelines, all right?
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00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:50,770
But I'm not gay!
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I don't care about that, bro!
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Tweek, if... and I'm only saying if...
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00:02:54,536 --> 00:02:56,443
At some point, you wanted
to touch Craig's penis,
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00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,076
You can't just go
grabbing for it, all right?
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00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:00,010
You would need to say something like,
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00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:02,406
"Craig, is it all right with
you if I touch your penis?"
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00:03:02,441 --> 00:03:03,683
Okay? Let's try it out.
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00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:04,643
No!
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00:03:04,676 --> 00:03:05,743
You want two weeks detention instead?!
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00:03:05,776 --> 00:03:07,876
This shit's important!
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00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:09,610
Craig, can I touch your penis?
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00:03:09,643 --> 00:03:11,710
Okay. Good. Now, Craig, you might say,
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00:03:11,743 --> 00:03:14,410
"You may touch my penis.
I'm comfortable with that."
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00:03:16,181 --> 00:03:17,369
Or, of course, you could say,
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00:03:17,404 --> 00:03:19,443
"No, you may not touch
my penis at this time."
93
00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:20,976
No, you may not.
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00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,710
Okay. Now we're getting somewhere.
95
00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:24,476
Now, Craig, what would you say
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00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:26,176
If you wanted to take a
gander at Tweek's asshole?
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00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:31,076
Randy, you should have a talk with Stan.
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00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,776
For what?
99
00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:34,743
I guess something
happened at school today
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00:03:34,776 --> 00:03:37,676
Involving two of Stan's
friends [whispers] being gay.
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00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:38,910
What?
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00:03:38,943 --> 00:03:41,576
Yeah, Stan seems really perplexed.
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00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,143
Wow.
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00:03:43,176 --> 00:03:45,210
Our town has only had a
Whole Foods for three weeks,
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00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:47,454
And we already have our first gay kids.
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00:03:47,506 --> 00:03:48,976
So cool.
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00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,410
Go talk to him, Randy, and be delicate.
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Hey, bud.
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How's it hanging?
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00:03:57,550 --> 00:04:00,083
I'm confused, Dad. There
was this thing at school.
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00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,483
Well, guess what.
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00:04:01,516 --> 00:04:03,950
You've got a really progressive P.C. dad
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00:04:03,983 --> 00:04:06,383
Who knows all about this stuff, okay?
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00:04:06,416 --> 00:04:08,050
Go ahead. Ask me anything.
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00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:10,416
I just don't understand
how it's decided.
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00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:13,416
Ah, well, you see, it's a combination
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00:04:13,450 --> 00:04:16,550
Of genetic, hormonal, and
environmental influences.
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00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:18,650
No, I mean, like, what
makes the Asians decide
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00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:20,124
Who they're gonna make gay?
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00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:23,416
The Asians?
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00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:25,287
The Asians decide who's gonna be gay?
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00:04:25,322 --> 00:04:26,950
Uh, uh, yeah. Yeah, they do.
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00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:28,550
Uh, the Asians just, you know...
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00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:29,983
They just pick who they pick,
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00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:32,211
And, um, so it's the
way it's always been.
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00:04:32,246 --> 00:04:33,928
So, you've heard of yaoi?
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00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,416
[Chuckles] Yeah, of course.
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00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,150
Yaoi, anal intercourse, Maui Zaui.
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00:04:39,183 --> 00:04:41,116
I-I know all this stuff, Stan.
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00:04:44,445 --> 00:04:45,950
Oh, hey, Thomas!
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00:04:45,983 --> 00:04:47,816
Hey, we heard about Craig.
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00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:49,816
We think it's just terrific.
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00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,483
What about Craig?
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00:04:51,516 --> 00:04:55,083
Thomas, I'm so glad that
Craig is finally happy.
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00:04:55,116 --> 00:04:57,423
Hey! It's Craig's dad, everybody!
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00:04:57,456 --> 00:04:59,390
[Scattered applause]
137
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:09,923
Tweek's out of coffee, honey.
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00:05:09,956 --> 00:05:12,956
Oh, here you go, kiddo.
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00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:16,823
Tweek, is there anything
you want to talk to us about?
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00:05:16,856 --> 00:05:18,723
No.
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00:05:18,756 --> 00:05:21,723
Well, we heard that you're gay.
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00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,156
And I want you to know we've
never been so proud of you.
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00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:27,123
Oh, God!
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00:05:27,156 --> 00:05:29,056
We thought you were just a spaz,
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00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:32,490
But to know you've got
so much going on inside...
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00:05:32,523 --> 00:05:33,856
We're so proud of you, Tweek.
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00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:35,123
[Groans]
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00:05:35,156 --> 00:05:36,956
Knowing what I know now,
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00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:39,523
I'm gonna be a much better dad to you.
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00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,056
In fact, I just...
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00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,756
I just want to give
you some money, Tweek.
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00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:43,923
Can I give you some money?
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00:05:43,956 --> 00:05:46,056
Here. I-I love you so much, son.
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00:05:47,923 --> 00:05:51,923
♪ The Book of Love
is long and boring ♪
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00:05:53,056 --> 00:05:57,056
♪ No one can lift the damn thing ♪
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00:05:58,763 --> 00:06:02,763
♪ It's full of charts
and facts and figures ♪
157
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:09,063
♪ And instructions for dancing ♪
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00:06:09,096 --> 00:06:13,096
♪ But
I-I-I-I-I-I ♪
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00:06:14,963 --> 00:06:18,963
♪ I love it when you read to me ♪
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00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:24,163
♪ And
you-u-u-u-u-u ♪
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00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:30,730
♪ You can read me anything ♪
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00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:36,030
♪ The Book of Love has music in it ♪
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00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:41,730
♪ In fact, that's
where music comes from ♪
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00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:47,563
♪ Some of it's just transcendental ♪
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00:06:49,463 --> 00:06:53,630
♪ Some of it's just really dumb ♪
166
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:57,663
♪ But
I-I-I-I-I-I ♪
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00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,836
♪ I love it when you sing to me ♪
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00:07:04,736 --> 00:07:08,736
♪ And
you-u-u-u-u-u ♪
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00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:15,603
♪ You can sing me anything ♪
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00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:20,470
CARTMAN: [Thinking]
Dude, Tweek and Craig.
171
00:07:20,503 --> 00:07:23,036
It's just so weird.
172
00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:24,970
If they've been gay this whole time,
173
00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:27,336
Have they been checking me out?
174
00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:29,670
I'm pretty sure Craig
has seen my wiener.
175
00:07:29,703 --> 00:07:31,670
Should I kick his ass?
176
00:07:32,497 --> 00:07:33,936
[Twinkle!] Oh, come on!
177
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,303
What's wrong with two
guys liking each other?
178
00:07:36,336 --> 00:07:37,870
I just don't understand it, Cupid Me.
179
00:07:37,903 --> 00:07:39,736
Wanting to, like, kiss a dude?
180
00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:40,836
But if love is love,
181
00:07:40,870 --> 00:07:44,003
Then it takes form in all
shapes and sizes. Tee hee!
182
00:07:44,036 --> 00:07:45,736
I guess just because
I don't understand it
183
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,609
Doesn't mean I shouldn't support it.
184
00:07:47,644 --> 00:07:48,736
All right.
185
00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:50,403
Maybe you can help them along.
186
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,303
Really? Can I?
187
00:07:52,336 --> 00:07:55,276
Yes, Cupid Me. Make it quick.
Don't let anyone see you.
188
00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:56,943
Oh, thank you! I will!
189
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,676
Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee hee!
190
00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:00,910
Tee hee hee!
191
00:08:00,943 --> 00:08:02,776
[Snoring]
192
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,743
Tee hee hee! Tee hee!
193
00:08:08,776 --> 00:08:10,943
You just need a little spark of magic.
194
00:08:10,976 --> 00:08:12,810
[Twinkle!] Tee hee hee!
195
00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:14,810
And now I'm gonna pee in your mouth.
196
00:08:14,843 --> 00:08:17,710
[Chuckles] Love is in the air!
197
00:08:20,943 --> 00:08:22,476
[Twinkle!]
198
00:08:22,510 --> 00:08:23,810
Did you do it, Cupid Me?
199
00:08:23,843 --> 00:08:25,510
I hit him with my love arrow,
200
00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:27,376
And then I peed in
his mouth just for fun.
201
00:08:27,410 --> 00:08:28,810
[Laughs] That's awesome!
202
00:08:28,843 --> 00:08:30,976
That's so sweet! [Chuckles]
203
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,510
I thought you might like that.
204
00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:33,576
Yeah, dude. You're hilarious.
205
00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:35,343
And do you think I'm cute, too?
206
00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:36,743
'Cause I think you're kind of cute.
207
00:08:36,776 --> 00:08:37,876
Stop that, Cupid Me.
208
00:08:37,910 --> 00:08:40,310
I told you I'm not homosexual,
okay? It's not funny.
209
00:08:40,343 --> 00:08:42,776
Oh, well. At least Tweek
and Craig are in love now.
210
00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:45,276
Yep. School tomorrow should
be really interesting.
211
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:49,410
And so then my dad
talked to me about it.
212
00:08:49,443 --> 00:08:51,710
And my dad says Asians
have always done this,
213
00:08:51,743 --> 00:08:53,376
And they, like, do make people gay.
214
00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:55,429
- You guys! You guys! Hurry!
- What?
215
00:08:55,464 --> 00:08:56,911
It's... It's Tweek and Craig, dude!
216
00:08:56,946 --> 00:08:58,326
They're about to have sex!
217
00:08:59,716 --> 00:09:01,250
You got a [bleep] problem, man?
218
00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:02,850
You're the one with the [bleep] problem!
219
00:09:02,883 --> 00:09:04,783
I told you to stay 100 yards from me!
220
00:09:04,816 --> 00:09:06,583
You better not [bleep]
push me again, man!
221
00:09:06,616 --> 00:09:08,216
Oh, God, you guys. Get a room.
222
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,883
[Cheering]
223
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:18,716
Hello. Mr. Tucker?
224
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,883
I need to inform you that your son
was in an altercation at school today.
225
00:09:22,711 --> 00:09:24,734
Craig? Craig got in a fight?
226
00:09:24,769 --> 00:09:26,622
Yes, with his boyfriend.
227
00:09:26,657 --> 00:09:28,013
Just a lovers' quarrel, probably.
228
00:09:28,048 --> 00:09:28,997
God damn it.
229
00:09:29,032 --> 00:09:30,583
Something to be expected
in relationships.
230
00:09:30,616 --> 00:09:32,650
Apparently, there were no
affirmative-consent issues,
231
00:09:32,683 --> 00:09:35,443
as your son knows the right way
to play with another boy's penis.
232
00:09:35,478 --> 00:09:36,583
Oh, God.
233
00:09:36,616 --> 00:09:38,450
There's not gonna be
any disciplinary action.
234
00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:40,424
Since they are gay, we
want to be supportive.
235
00:09:40,459 --> 00:09:42,506
So, we're just gonna send them on
home with some money, all right?
236
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:43,795
All right, you have a nice day.
237
00:09:45,348 --> 00:09:46,716
Money?
238
00:09:48,384 --> 00:09:51,351
[Chinese music plays]
239
00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:55,958
[Speaking Chinese]
240
00:09:55,991 --> 00:09:57,391
[Sighs]
241
00:09:57,424 --> 00:09:59,058
[Speaking Chinese]
242
00:09:59,091 --> 00:10:00,958
Uh, hi. Mr. Jinping?
243
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,591
Thanks for taking my call.
244
00:10:02,624 --> 00:10:05,024
I was just wondering if
you could shed some light
245
00:10:05,058 --> 00:10:07,458
On how your people
decide who will be gay
246
00:10:07,491 --> 00:10:08,824
And who will be straight.
247
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,424
[Chinese accent] What?!
248
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:13,524
I'm sorry. I-I don't
speak Asian, but, um...
249
00:10:13,558 --> 00:10:14,524
Oh, uh... Oh!
250
00:10:14,558 --> 00:10:16,691
Y-Yaoi. Yaoi, yes?
251
00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:17,824
Boyzu love-u.
252
00:10:17,858 --> 00:10:19,658
H-How does that work?
253
00:10:19,691 --> 00:10:21,624
That come from Japan.
254
00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:23,558
Oh, it's Japan that decides?
255
00:10:23,591 --> 00:10:25,291
How the hell do they
actually make people ga...
256
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,924
And Japan, of course,
257
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:29,491
Is who does the yaoi to make people gay.
258
00:10:29,524 --> 00:10:32,924
They are dogs who refuse not apologize
259
00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:34,691
To the Chinese Republic!
260
00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:36,558
Uh-huh. Yes. That, of course,
261
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:38,591
I do already know about homosexuality.
262
00:10:38,624 --> 00:10:41,291
[Doorbell rings]
263
00:10:41,324 --> 00:10:43,858
Hi. Flower delivery for Eric Cartman.
264
00:10:43,891 --> 00:10:46,024
Oh, my. How beautiful!
265
00:10:46,058 --> 00:10:49,724
Oh, look, sweetie!
Someone sent you flowers.
266
00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:52,324
CARTMAN: "Can't we just try? TeeHee."
267
00:10:52,358 --> 00:10:53,664
Oh, man.
268
00:10:53,698 --> 00:10:55,331
Who are they from, hon?
269
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:58,631
Someone who needs a
real talking to. [Sighs]
270
00:10:58,664 --> 00:11:00,998
Look, it's flattering, okay?
271
00:11:01,031 --> 00:11:02,064
But it doesn't change the fact
272
00:11:02,098 --> 00:11:04,331
That there's nothing here
for you to keep pursuing.
273
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,664
Tee hee hee! Aw, come on.
Let's be like Tweek and Craig.
274
00:11:07,698 --> 00:11:09,564
Everyone thinks they're cute.
275
00:11:09,598 --> 00:11:12,231
You are wasting your time.
I'm not attracted to guys.
276
00:11:12,264 --> 00:11:14,598
But I'm so attracted to you.
277
00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:17,331
I realize that, and I'm sorry.
278
00:11:17,364 --> 00:11:19,464
I need you to stop bothering me.
279
00:11:19,498 --> 00:11:22,231
This... is done.
280
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:23,864
I'm just not a homosexual.
281
00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:28,731
[Doorbell rings]
282
00:11:31,264 --> 00:11:33,831
Well, hello, Craig.
283
00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:36,464
Honey, it's Craig.
284
00:11:36,498 --> 00:11:38,864
Aww, hi, Craig.
285
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,664
Is Tweek home?
286
00:11:40,698 --> 00:11:42,398
He sure is. Come on in.
287
00:11:47,764 --> 00:11:49,964
Would you like to have
some coffee, Craig?
288
00:11:49,998 --> 00:11:51,998
No, thank you. I just want to see Tweek.
289
00:11:52,031 --> 00:11:53,504
Aww.
290
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:54,838
Tweek's just up in his room playing.
291
00:11:54,871 --> 00:11:56,271
You can go on up.
292
00:11:56,504 --> 00:11:59,471
Oh, uh, but keep the
door open, all right?
293
00:12:01,704 --> 00:12:04,071
They're so gay.
294
00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:06,438
Aargh! Aah! Unh!
295
00:12:06,471 --> 00:12:08,471
Aah!
296
00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:10,169
Hey, dude.
297
00:12:10,204 --> 00:12:10,638
[Spits] Aah!
298
00:12:10,671 --> 00:12:12,404
No! No! What are you doing here?
299
00:12:12,438 --> 00:12:14,638
Tweek, calm down. We have
to put a stop to this.
300
00:12:14,671 --> 00:12:15,971
There's no stopping it!
301
00:12:16,004 --> 00:12:17,804
The whole world wants me
to be something I'm not!
302
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,438
Me, too, dude. But there's
something we can do.
303
00:12:20,471 --> 00:12:21,971
What?!
304
00:12:22,004 --> 00:12:24,638
We have to come out and say we're gay.
305
00:12:24,671 --> 00:12:26,527
What?! Are you insane?!
306
00:12:26,782 --> 00:12:29,938
Tweek, Tweek. Because, if
we're gay, then we can break up.
307
00:12:29,971 --> 00:12:32,138
And if we break up, no more pictures.
308
00:12:32,171 --> 00:12:34,404
We just have to stage a fake breakup
309
00:12:34,438 --> 00:12:36,038
In front of the Asian girls.
310
00:12:36,071 --> 00:12:38,924
Like acting?! No, man. That
is way too much pressure.
311
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:40,438
You can do it, Tweek.
312
00:12:40,471 --> 00:12:42,471
You're capable of more than you think.
313
00:12:42,504 --> 00:12:44,026
Ugh! I'm a terrible actor.
314
00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:47,704
You just follow my lead and try
and make it believable, okay?
315
00:12:47,738 --> 00:12:49,871
Oh, God. Okay. Oh, God!
316
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,578
What did I do wrong, huh?
317
00:12:53,611 --> 00:12:55,311
Everyone's so damn happy,
318
00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:57,878
But... but why did this
have to happen to my son?
319
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,978
What did I do to make my son like this?
320
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,878
Hey, hey, whoa. You didn't do anything.
321
00:13:02,911 --> 00:13:04,844
Oh, what? You know about this?
322
00:13:04,878 --> 00:13:07,478
Yeah, let me handle this, guys. I'm P.C.
323
00:13:07,511 --> 00:13:10,944
Look, Thomas, you need to understand
that being gay isn't a decision.
324
00:13:10,978 --> 00:13:13,711
You know, a lot of people
think that Asians decide
325
00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:15,078
Who's gay and who's not.
326
00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:16,644
But it isn't all Asians.
327
00:13:16,678 --> 00:13:19,229
It's just specifically
the Japanese, okay?
328
00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:20,271
What?
329
00:13:20,306 --> 00:13:23,044
Why do the Japanese make some
people gay and others not?
330
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,511
Well, it goes back to World War II
331
00:13:25,544 --> 00:13:27,678
And atrocities that
happened in China called
332
00:13:27,711 --> 00:13:29,444
The Rape of Don King.
333
00:13:29,478 --> 00:13:31,644
Well, you sure know a lot about this.
334
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,344
Yes, I do.
335
00:13:33,378 --> 00:13:35,444
No, dude. I looked it up.
336
00:13:35,478 --> 00:13:37,711
Yaoi is just an art
style for girls by girls
337
00:13:37,744 --> 00:13:40,303
Because they like fictionalizing
two guys in a relationship.
338
00:13:40,338 --> 00:13:42,280
- But why?
- I don't know.
339
00:13:42,315 --> 00:13:45,678
But the point is, there's nothing
about it that means Tweek and Craig
340
00:13:45,711 --> 00:13:46,991
Are actually gay at all.
341
00:13:49,378 --> 00:13:51,311
Hey, Tweek. Hold up.
342
00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:54,384
Listen, it's just not going to work.
343
00:13:54,819 --> 00:13:56,318
What?! Why not?!
344
00:13:56,351 --> 00:13:59,251
I'm sorry, Tweek, but we
can't lie to ourselves anymore.
345
00:13:59,284 --> 00:14:02,384
Yes, we are gay. But we
do not belong together.
346
00:14:02,418 --> 00:14:05,651
We don't belong together?
What suddenly changed, Craig?
347
00:14:05,684 --> 00:14:08,451
It's just that people
are different. That's all.
348
00:14:08,484 --> 00:14:10,651
Uh-huh. And who the hell is Michael?
349
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,018
Huh? You want to tell me that?!
350
00:14:13,051 --> 00:14:15,318
Uh, what are you... what
are you talking about?
351
00:14:15,351 --> 00:14:17,518
I went through your phone when
we went out last night, Craig.
352
00:14:17,551 --> 00:14:20,518
I saw your text to Michael
about hooking up with him!
353
00:14:21,788 --> 00:14:23,584
Wait, uh... t-that's not what happened.
354
00:14:23,618 --> 00:14:24,618
Oh, it's not?!
355
00:14:24,651 --> 00:14:28,584
No. L-look, we both know
this is for the better.
356
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,584
Oh, don't use that lame shit on me, man.
357
00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:33,118
You don't want to feel bad, so
you try and tell me what I want?!
358
00:14:33,151 --> 00:14:35,084
Tweek, don't make me out
to be the bad guy here.
359
00:14:35,118 --> 00:14:36,318
No, you're not the bad guy.
360
00:14:36,351 --> 00:14:38,251
You're never the bad guy, are you?!
361
00:14:38,284 --> 00:14:40,251
You... you just step on
people and you use them!
362
00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:43,011
You're going too far, dude. This
is, like, totally not necessary.
363
00:14:43,159 --> 00:14:45,584
I'm going too far?!
What is wrong with you?!
364
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,618
This wasn't part of the plan.
365
00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:50,651
Well, guess what, Craig?!
Love doesn't follow a plan!
366
00:14:50,684 --> 00:14:51,418
Yeah!
367
00:14:51,451 --> 00:14:53,491
I was totally wrong about you.
368
00:14:53,524 --> 00:14:55,924
I opened myself up and let you in,
369
00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:57,691
But you've got spikes, man.
370
00:14:57,724 --> 00:14:59,891
You've got spikes.
371
00:14:59,924 --> 00:15:01,491
[A Great Big World's
"Say Something" playing]
372
00:15:01,894 --> 00:15:03,174
Tweek!
373
00:15:10,058 --> 00:15:13,058
Dude, seriously? Seriously?!
374
00:15:13,091 --> 00:15:13,858
[Thunder rumbles]
375
00:15:13,891 --> 00:15:15,124
♪ Say something ♪
376
00:15:15,158 --> 00:15:17,658
♪ I'm giving up on you ♪
377
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:20,958
They... they broke up?
378
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:28,224
♪ I'll be the one
if you want me to ♪
379
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:37,891
♪ Anywhere, I would
have followed you ♪
380
00:15:44,124 --> 00:15:45,858
♪ Say something ♪
381
00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:49,091
♪ I'm giving up on you ♪
382
00:15:54,731 --> 00:15:56,598
♪ Say something ♪
383
00:15:56,631 --> 00:15:59,631
♪ I'm giving up on you ♪
384
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:09,631
♪ Say something ♪
385
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,798
[Music ends]
386
00:16:27,864 --> 00:16:29,298
[Whispering] What are you doing?
387
00:16:29,331 --> 00:16:30,456
This place isn't you.
388
00:16:30,491 --> 00:16:32,831
I'm just here to pick up on guys.
389
00:16:32,864 --> 00:16:33,998
Why? Are you jealous?
390
00:16:34,031 --> 00:16:35,231
No, I'm not.
391
00:16:35,264 --> 00:16:37,431
I'm here because we need you right now.
392
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,231
Oh, now you need me, huh?
393
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:40,331
[Bleep] you, dude.
394
00:16:40,364 --> 00:16:41,498
[Bleep] you.
395
00:16:42,113 --> 00:16:43,847
What is that kid doing here?
396
00:16:44,298 --> 00:16:47,031
He's just kind of talking to himself.
397
00:16:47,064 --> 00:16:50,331
The whole town is sad.
Cupid Me, you have to help.
398
00:16:50,364 --> 00:16:52,971
Well, I guess I could try and help.
399
00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:55,271
In return for just one date?
400
00:16:55,304 --> 00:16:57,104
I'm not homosexual!
401
00:16:57,138 --> 00:17:00,038
Then I guess I'm not interested.
402
00:17:00,071 --> 00:17:02,771
[Sighs] All right. One date.
403
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,938
But only if you help get
Tweek and Craig back together.
404
00:17:04,971 --> 00:17:07,738
Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee hee hee!
405
00:17:07,771 --> 00:17:09,804
Hey, kid, what do you
think you're doing here?
406
00:17:09,838 --> 00:17:11,671
Oh, oh, hey, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
407
00:17:11,704 --> 00:17:14,771
I'm not here for me. I'm
here for my friend, okay?
408
00:17:14,804 --> 00:17:18,271
[Doorbell rings]
409
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,904
Hi. Is Craig here, sir?
410
00:17:21,263 --> 00:17:22,970
Why can't you quit him?
411
00:17:23,005 --> 00:17:24,338
Thomas.
412
00:17:24,371 --> 00:17:27,671
Five minutes. He's in the back.
413
00:17:28,927 --> 00:17:30,304
Hey, dude.
414
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:32,004
What do you want?
415
00:17:32,038 --> 00:17:34,304
I thought when we broke up
everything would get better.
416
00:17:34,338 --> 00:17:38,304
I was thinking maybe we
should say we're back together.
417
00:17:38,338 --> 00:17:40,671
Dude, I'm not gay, and neither are you!
418
00:17:40,704 --> 00:17:42,304
What does that have to do with anything?
419
00:17:42,338 --> 00:17:44,171
You think you can just pull
that shit you pulled at school,
420
00:17:44,204 --> 00:17:45,971
Saying I step on people and use them,
421
00:17:46,004 --> 00:17:47,404
And I'll just take you back?
422
00:17:47,438 --> 00:17:48,804
You said to make it seem real.
423
00:17:48,838 --> 00:17:50,138
Not that real!
424
00:17:50,171 --> 00:17:51,844
Now everyone thinks I'm
a manipulative cheater.
425
00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:53,622
I'll never get any chicks.
426
00:17:54,711 --> 00:17:56,711
I'm so sorry, Craig.
427
00:17:56,744 --> 00:17:59,944
You... you made me believe in
myself in a way I never have before.
428
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:03,044
I didn't think I had any of
that in me, but you were right.
429
00:18:03,078 --> 00:18:05,144
I can do more than I think.
430
00:18:05,178 --> 00:18:07,078
You changed something
in me, and I just...
431
00:18:07,111 --> 00:18:09,318
I want to fix whatever's
hurting you now.
432
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:11,244
[Sobbing]
433
00:18:11,278 --> 00:18:13,844
I can't be something because
everyone wants me to be.
434
00:18:13,878 --> 00:18:15,978
I have to be myself.
435
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,844
You'll just have to go
be gay with someone else.
436
00:18:18,878 --> 00:18:21,011
All right, Craig. All right.
437
00:18:24,911 --> 00:18:27,978
I can see how much they're
both hurting, but...
438
00:18:28,011 --> 00:18:31,744
Can't you understand that in my
time we just didn't accept this?
439
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,211
Maybe it's not so wrong.
440
00:18:33,244 --> 00:18:36,111
I... I just don't want it to be my son.
441
00:18:36,144 --> 00:18:38,811
[Wings beating]
442
00:18:38,844 --> 00:18:40,778
Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee!
443
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:42,744
You just need a little prick of magic.
444
00:18:42,778 --> 00:18:44,644
[Twinkle]
445
00:18:44,678 --> 00:18:46,472
I'm gonna pee in your
mouth a little bit.
446
00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:49,344
[Trickling]
447
00:18:49,789 --> 00:18:52,418
Then again, he's my son, no matter what.
448
00:18:52,451 --> 00:18:54,018
I can't just shut down on him.
449
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:55,384
Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee hee!
450
00:18:55,418 --> 00:18:56,751
[Wings beating]
451
00:19:00,018 --> 00:19:04,018
Son, you need to listen to me.
452
00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:06,984
You can't fight being gay.
453
00:19:07,018 --> 00:19:09,351
I used to think that
being gay was a choice,
454
00:19:09,384 --> 00:19:12,151
But you don't get to decide.
455
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,384
Japan picks who they
pick, and that's that.
456
00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:16,784
I don't understand this stuff.
457
00:19:16,818 --> 00:19:19,218
Heck, I didn't even
know Don King got raped,
458
00:19:19,251 --> 00:19:22,951
But I do know that if
you try and resist it,
459
00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:26,018
You make yourself
miserable your whole life.
460
00:19:26,051 --> 00:19:28,351
Everyone was so proud of you.
461
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:32,384
I was just being selfish. I
want to be proud of you, too.
462
00:19:33,118 --> 00:19:37,784
I like gay Craig. I love you.
463
00:19:37,818 --> 00:19:41,051
Here's $100.
464
00:19:41,084 --> 00:19:44,884
[Wistful music playing]
465
00:20:00,858 --> 00:20:03,958
MAN: [Japanese accent] ♪
Maybe we should go away ♪
466
00:20:03,991 --> 00:20:07,458
♪ Put cares aside for just a day ♪
467
00:20:07,491 --> 00:20:11,124
♪ The world we face is not so big ♪
468
00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:16,882
♪ Not if we are strong
like Tweek and Craig ♪
469
00:20:19,191 --> 00:20:22,058
[Speaking Japanese]
470
00:20:22,091 --> 00:20:25,291
♪ Let's go back to when it was new ♪
471
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:28,324
♪ Weren't we such
happy people, too? ♪
472
00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:32,258
♪ Life was simple, problems vague ♪
473
00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:38,247
♪ We had it all, a lot
like Tweek and Craig ♪
474
00:20:39,124 --> 00:20:42,824
♪ And in the darkness we all seek ♪
475
00:20:42,858 --> 00:20:45,958
♪ A perfect love
like Craig and Tweek ♪
476
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:49,636
_
477
00:20:49,827 --> 00:20:51,912
_
478
00:20:52,098 --> 00:20:53,631
Highest honor!
479
00:20:53,664 --> 00:20:57,664
Gambaro irashai!
480
00:20:57,964 --> 00:21:01,131
♪ I hope you know,
when you are down ♪
481
00:21:01,164 --> 00:21:04,698
♪ That you turned my life around ♪
482
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:08,164
♪ Just like the like the
quote from Shakespeare said ♪
483
00:21:08,198 --> 00:21:10,364
♪ I'm your Tweek ♪
484
00:21:10,398 --> 00:21:13,998
♪ And you're my Craig ♪
485
00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:15,764
[Moaning]
486
00:21:15,798 --> 00:21:17,764
Okay, okay. The date's almost over.
487
00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:19,164
Tee hee hee!
488
00:21:19,198 --> 00:21:20,977
Aren't you liking your massage?
489
00:21:21,012 --> 00:21:23,131
It's fine. It just doesn't
really do anything for me.
490
00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:23,098
[Speaking Japanese]
491
00:21:23,131 --> 00:21:25,664
Well, I've got something you
might like a little better.
492
00:21:25,698 --> 00:21:26,764
Cupid... Cupid Me, no!
493
00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:28,099
No! I'm straight!
494
00:21:28,134 --> 00:21:28,698
Tee hee hee hee!
495
00:21:28,731 --> 00:21:30,898
Cupid Me, what are
you doing? Oh, my God!
496
00:21:30,931 --> 00:21:32,864
Oh, Cupid Me, that's enough!
497
00:21:32,898 --> 00:21:35,131
Okay, that's it, Cupid Me! That's it!
498
00:21:35,164 --> 00:21:37,070
That's it, Cupid Me. Okay, that's it.
499
00:21:37,105 --> 00:21:38,139
That's it, Cupid Me.
500
00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:40,898
Aww.
501
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,049
Sync and corrected by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com